Hanging by a Thread
by MadamX
Summary: When Edward leaves in New Moon, Bella can't cope. Can the Cullen family bring her back?
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing,No copyright infringement is intended.**

**This story is just a little something that keeps me up at night. Hope you enjoy. **

**Chapter One**

**JPOV**

**Jasper inhaled and blew the air out slowly as he walked down the long corridor, it was a silly human trait that he learned awhile ago. Jasper was excited, more excited that he had thought he would be. His first day as a practicing psychiatrist. All those years of pretending to be a high school student were behind him. Like Edward and Carlisle, Jasper too had been to medical school many times. However, with his empathic abilities Jasper's natural progression took him into psychology it was a subject he mastered several times. **

**However, due to the fact that He didn't particularly like being around humans, he still felt fear, at times it still made his dead body run cold. He still struggled with his blood lust and working in a place where they didn't have Alice to depend on to calm him down terrified him. Jasper needed to do this. Jasper needed to prove to himself and the family that he was an asset to the family and not a liability. There was so much to learn, and he had to start. When the ad came out for this posting, he immediately talked to Carlisle, who told him to apply. The family would move there from New York, Seattle was far enough from Forks and big enough that they would fly under the radar for many years. If they had a chance encounter with someone from Forks it truly would not be the end of the world for them. They would just use the excuse that Los Angeles was not to their liking. The hospital in Seattle was a smaller, older Hospital; but it would serve Jasper well for his first outing on his own. All of the Cullen family was excited to be moving back to the area, with the exception of Edward. He felt it was just too close to Forks. However, to please Esme and Carlisle he promised he would try for a few months anyway. **

**Jasper's phone buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out he quickly looked at the message. "Good luck son on your first day, we're proud of you" Smiling a surge of pride ran through him. Running his hand through his long blond curly hair, Jasper smiled to himself at the progress he made. Since the horrible incident, those three years ago, Jasper felt he made a remarkable recovery. He still managed to relive that night over and over. The look on Edward's face still haunted him to this day. Jasper vowed to Edward and to the family after that he would make the family proud of him, and show that he was not a lost cause. Jasper felt horrible for attacking Bella the night of her birthday party. He didn't want to attack her, but the smell of her blood, combined with the feelings of lust that constantly came off of Edward made it impossible for him to stop. Of course Alice was always beside him, at every step of the way. Alice was proud that her husband was helping people when they were their most vulnerable. **

**For the first two years after the "Bella incident" Edward stayed away from the family. However, in the last year he found himself returning home more often. If nothing else it seemed to make Esme happy. Edward had accepted Jasper's apology. The family had grown since that incident. **

**After the "Incident" the family didn't intrude with Edward's life. From what they had told (of course from Edward) it wasn't Edward's choice but Bella's. Alice was heart broken that her best friend didn't even say so much as a good by. Edward didn't allow anyone to address that horrible night while he was around. I knew that the family had a lot of underlying feelings about losing Bella. Emmett lost his baby sister, he of course didn't say anything - living with Rose was hard enough at the best of times, and Rose simply hated Bella for her involvement with her life. Carlisle and Esma were hurt by Bella's decision to leave the family, they had considered her a member and the joy that Bella had brought to Edward was amazing. Alice was devastated and kept insisting to me that Bella would become a vampire some day. I just felt horrible for being the catalyst for all this family drama. To hurt my wife the way I did is something that I struggle daily with. **

**Jasper rounded the corner and opened the door. Dr. West was sitting behind an unorganised desk. Jasper wondered how he found anything with a desk that dirty. Dr. West stood up and dragged his hand across his pants in a failed attempted to clean it, reaching out to great the newly appointed Doctor. **

"**Dr. Hale, I'm Dr. West. Please, please take a seat" Dr. West moved some papers over so that the desk had a small clear spot. **

"**I can't tell you how excited we are to have you on staff. We're a smaller hospital, and we don't attract many new staff members - not to mention the weather doesn't attract too many younger people either." Dr. West begun to laugh which was cut off quickly by coughs. "Sorry about that, I've been trying to stop that nasty habit for a while now." Reaching into the drawer, he pulled out a mint. "Helps with those bloody cravings" **

**Dr. West reached over and pulled several files and placed them in front of Jasper. **

**Jasper moved closer and straighten up in his seat. There were several folders from the very thickest of folders to folders that appeared to have barely any papers.**

"**Now, from what your residence records indicated you have a special gift at making people talk." Dr. West looked over the top of his glasses. "Some of these patients, I hate to say are - simply not going to get any better." Raising his hand to stop Jasper from saying anything. "I know, I know, you're young and there is something that you need to find out very quickly. Some of these patients are worth fighting for, some just don't want to be helped." **

**Dr. West opened the first file, and begun to rattle off the patients' history. Jasper could feel Dr. West's excitement about having a new staff member. Jasper could feel all the staff excitement about him being there; especially all the younger nurses. Dr. West spoke for several minutes opening all the smaller files, finally the last of the files was the biggest one. Jasper didn't pay too much attention to the assessments that were coming from Dr. West. Not having to sleep had its benefits. Besides, he wanted to read and make his own assessments about his patients. His patients, it had a nice sound to it.**

"**Now Dr. Hale. This one, well- let's just say this one is one that will be in our hospital for an awful long time." Jasper looked at Dr. West more closely, he felt the sudden sadness that came off of Dr. West Jasper was suddenly very interested in this patient. **

"**This is a female, she just turned 21 and has been a patient in this hospital for only the last year, however she at no time has made any progress. None, nothing. In all my years of therapy I have never seen a case like this. I'm at my wits end and I know that I shouldn't be shouldering you with a case like this, however, I thinking - or I should say. I'm hoping that you have learned some new theories in that fancy Medial school you attended." **

**Jasper lifted his eyes. "What's the history?"**

**Clearing his throat, Dr. West popped another mint in his mouth.**

"**She's been through some sort of trauma, her family has no idea what happened. There was a bad break up, from a boy friend the family informed us that she seemed to be 'functioning' for several months - than she just slipped deeper into a depression. She was sent to an institute in Phoenix, it was close to her-her" Shuffling the papers "Yes, there it is, her mother lives in Phoenix. Apparently her father is the Chief of Police in the small City of Forks and they didn't want a lot of people to know that his daughter was in an institution." Dr. West's cleared his throat again, "Where some less than ethical treatment was used on her." Opening the file up again, Dr. West began to list the medications that she was prescribed. "these all have been given to her at one time or another, and - I'll add, that there were several firings of staff members at this hospital during the time that this poor girl was getting treated there, it seems that her mother was on the road travelling a lot back then and well- Dr. Hale you know what can happen at times in some institutions when a patient is left alone with no other family members to watch over their loved ones. Lets get one thing straight here we have the strictest of policies against any involvement with staff and patients. **

**If Jasper could throw up he would have. To know what has happened to Bella made him physically sick. **

**Dr. West was still talking, Jasper shook his head slightly and begun to pay attention to the Dr. again. "She - Miss Swan is going to be one of these long term patience. In my personal opinion - she's not going to get any better. She's going to be a lost cause."**

**Jasper wanted to jump up and grab the file from the old man. Bella was in here, Bella was going to be in his care. What the hell happened? Broken hearted, cationic, long term care? What the hell was this old man talking about? Jasper's vampire brain was working overtime. Bella, their Bella was here?**

**Lifting his wrist, he looked at his watch. "Oh, it's time for rounds. I'll have you follow me, we'll introduce you to each of your new patients." Putting Bella's file back on the pile, Jasper wanted to push the old man out of the way and start reading it. **

**Jasper stood up quickly and followed the short round man out of the door. Jasper's ears picked up the sound of some patient's mummers, soft humming sounds came from some rooms. The smells were in these institutions were almost always the same. Jasper wondered what they cleaned the floors with? The smell of strong disinfectant mingled with food, and human waste burned Jasper's sensitive nose. It was a smell he had to get accustomed to. **

**Jasper found himself again not paying attention to the others in his care, there would be plenty of time for him to meet and work with all of them. He wanted to get to Bella's room. Dr. West and Jasper slowly make their way down a poorly lite hall. Jasper noticed the age of the building had changed. This must be the older part of the building. The hall changed from white painted gyp-rock to white painted bricks. **

**Rounding the corner, they came to another set of doors, pulling his keys out Dr. West opened the large steel door. The scent almost made Jasper drop to his knees. Bella's scent was strong, but it was off. Moans of patients' bounced off the cold, hard walls. **

"**Dr. Hale, this is where the long term patients are housed. This is where Bella Swan has been lodged. We need to keep her here, where there is more control. I'll make sure you are issued a set of keys for this section of the hospital. Again, I apologize for our lack of technology for this section. It's coming - slowly, ah here we are. Miss Swan." Dr. West pulled out his keys again and pushed it into the large painted lock on the door. **

"**Miss Swan, it's Dr. West I'm here to introduce you to your new Dr. His name is Dr. Hale." **

**Jasper stood in the doorway almost incapable of moving, the site that lay before him was one he had never imaged on his worst days. A small figure was curled along the wall, leaning against the white brick wall. The long brown hair that Bella wore was cut short almost making her look like a tiny boy. Bella's sweet smell was combined with a sour stench. Jasper knew that Bella hadn't been washed in a few days. He slowly made his way towards her, kneeling in front of her he reached his hand to lift her chin up towards his face. Bella slowly rocked back and forth moaning.**

"**How long has she been like this?" Jasper whispered.**

**Dr. West cleared his throat, almost making Jasper jump with the sudden noise. "Since she was admitted. She hasn't said two words, since she's been here. Her father calls often but no longer visits and from what I can remember her mother is now living in Japan with her new husband. He's into baseball or some sort of sports. There was a rather large Native boy that visited for awhile. But like a lot of these patients', they give up rather quickly when they don't see results. It's sad really. "**

**Jasper leaned down, closer to her face. "Why did you cut her hair? All the other patients have long hair? Why is she sitting on the cold floor, not to mention this cold wall." Jasper's spoke quietly.**

"**All the other patients can function Dr. Hale, Miss Swan - well, she just does what she's doing now. Nothing. And as for the cold, that is one thing that you will note immediately once you read her file. If you want to keep Miss Swan calm, you must have cold hands and we're not sure, but her sitting on the floor curled up against the cold wall does calm her a lot." Dr. West's voice became quite.**

"**How long? Cold…. I'm not..Happy…" Jasper couldn't finish his sentence. His eyes not once left Bella.**

"**Dr Hale," Dr. West's voice became strong. "We do the best we can, we can't cope with certain patients in this facility. We have requested that her family move her to a facility that is more apt to care for her conditions, but her family wants her close. For what ever reason." Looking at the watch on his arm again, I have to leave shortly. Nurse Louise at the front desk will give you keys to this area. I'm sure you have a lot of reading to do, and along with the files, I have made sure that you have my personal number. I have a golf game that's calling. Living in Seattle, doesn't give one too much of a chance to get the game in." The round man made his way out of the door. "The door locks when you close it Dr. Hale. Good luck." **

**Jasper stared at Bella, he eyes never left the tiny window. "Bella?" Jasper leaned closer to Bella's face. "It's me Jasper. I'm hear to help you. Bella?"**

"**Bella, can you look at me please?" Jasper closed his eyes and begun to feel what Bella was feeling. A rush of darkness, despair, sadness, anger and hopelessness rushed through him. Jasper reached for Bella's hand. "We're going to get you better Bella, I don't know what happened to you, but we're going to get you out of here." **

**Bella's eyes pulled away from the Window. The pools of dark brown locked with Jaspers golden eyes. "Go away" She croaked out. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two,

BPOV

It's been days, weeks, months, years I've lost track of what time it is. Time doesn't seem to matter to me anymore. I'm away from the one that I loved with all my heart and soul. He threw me away like trash. God, what I would do to have that time back. Looking up at the window, I can see a tree. God, I hate tree's or do I? I'm not sure. I feel funny when I look at it - so I think I hate it. But, I can't stop looking at it. It makes me feel safe, and scared all in one.

The endless moans in this place are beginning to make me even more crazy than I think I am. I'm so crazy that I'm not even sure that I am or that I'm not. God, no wonder he left me, how pathetic am I?

I hear someone at the door, nope. It's not for me. Look no one's at home. Lights on, no one's home! Idiots, they're all idiots. I'm the head idiot. Yep, fall in love with a vampire. Yep, that would be me. Do I even know if I was in love with him? Not sure anymore. Vampires, I snorted to myself. They don't exist you idiot. Yes, that's it. You are the head idiot! He didn't exist. He told you, right? Did he? No, now I'm not sure. I can't simply remember anymore. It's the drugs… yes. That's what it is, drugs. They keep giving them to me - all kinds. Some to make me sleep, wake me up, make me eat. Christ they have even given me drugs to shit. I hate this place. I hate this place. I hate my life. I can't get out, I'm stuck in the dark, I'm stuck in this place. No one is here. No one comes to see me anymore. Not that I blame them, I don't talk to them, well I think I don't talk to them. I don't hear my voice anymore so I'm not sure if I talk or not. I hear my voice in my head - does it sound the same aloud anymore?

Shh, someone is at the door. The door creaked open allowing the light from the hallway to fill my darkened room. "Isabella, it's time for your medication." A pretty blond lady knelt in front of me. "Isabella?" she held out her hand. I slowly lifted my hand up, taking the two tables that she held for me. Good, more drugs. I quickly pop them into my mouth, she then handed me water. The ice cold water felt good on my parched throat. Why was my throat so sore?

Quick shut the door, the dark 'blob' is out there. Keep the door closed. I wanted to scream, keep it away from me. Her hand came close to my face. I quickly closed my eyes. Keep away! Don't touch me! I scream, or did I scream? I can't tell any more when I talk, or when I don't talk. They don't seem to touch me as much here. I like it here more, I think. The tiny blond girl left just as quickly as she came in. No one stays with me long. I don't know why, but I like it. I like to be alone. I can think. I snuggled closer to the cold brick wall. I can feel the medication starting to work. My body became warm, and the fuzzy feeling in my head came back. I can't think straight. I can't think. I can't remember him. I tried to push myself closer to the cold brick wall.

Did I fall asleep? I hope so. I love the way I feel when I'm sleeping. Free, calm, and I can remember without that medication or whatever. They are giving me in here. Edward, the name sings to my soul. My Edward, his golden eyes, bronze hair, the man was beautiful and for a few short months that man was mine. He made my body and heart sing. I would have done anything for him. In my dreams, I can remember the way he looked at me, with such passion such as love. I can remember how his hands felt when he would touch me, the cold, hard hands. I love him - I gave him everything. I would have given him my soul. I would have given his family everything that I had. But, alas, it was not enough.

I wasn't good enough, for him, or for his family. The hole in my chest is ripping again. The black blob is coming under the door now. I can't stop it. Stop thinking about it. Stop it Bella! My voice was screaming in my head. The gates were opened and there was no stopping the visions, and memories that now flooded my mind.

How stupid am I really all I had to do was look, actually just look at his family, All Gods, and Goddesses. They were chisel out of marble. All of them, Alice my best friend. In the few months that I had her, she let me open my heart, and I told her things just like a best friend would. We would laugh and giggle driving Edward crazy. God, I miss her, her spirit her voice, her strength. In my dreams, I can pretend that we are still the best of friends, and that we are giggling and laughing at all the funny things that are going on around us. In my dreams, I'm even allowing Alice to take me shopping. At least I'm with Alice in my dreams. Alice I miss my Alice a lot. Losing Edward hurt me, but I always thought that friends were supposed to stick by you through thick and thin. But, I didn't fit into their perfect family so, they left all of them. Gone. NO, stop it, this is my dream. Keep things happy in my dream. Don't - please don't let the bad come into the my dreams. The medication that they are giving me isn't helping me enough. Please… I need to keep them in my dreams. Those damn moans are starting to come into my dreams. Please shut up - stop those moans! I want to scream, or did I scream. Those moans are taking my Edward away from me. Edward! Edward!

Shhh, someone is coming. Again the door is opening, and I can hear men talking. I want to sink into the wall. The wall will protect me. I don't want men in here! Get out! Don't touch me! Edward, help me! Shut up you idiot, I'm trying to listen to them. No one here has hurt you. One voice gets closer and closer. He's kneeling down in front of me. I want to yell for him to get away, but he comes closer yet. He's touching me! Get away! I want to yell, but wait. His hand is so cold. I like his hand. His hand can stay.

I can hear voices again, are they in my head? I've heard this voice before, I know this voice. His voice is almost like an angels, I look at the man with the angels voice. I know him. Where do I know him? He looks like a Greek God, his white face with curly blond hair and those eyes. He has Edward's eyes. I know him. Who, what's his name. God, I can't remember his name. All those pills and medications they have given me are making me forget who this person is.

"Bella" He sings my name, He's not here. None of them are here. It's just my mind again that's making me crazy. I'm seeing them. My eyes scan a little. I don't want to move from the wall. I wonder if he's here. I wonder why the other one is here. I can't remember his name right now. The drugs are making me tired. I can't think. The dark blob is coming closer to me. I have to - I have to. I don't know what I have to do. I don't even think I can think right now.

That voice speaks again, and it comes to me like the sun peaking through the clouds. "Go away" I whisper and my mind shuts down. It can't handle anymore. It doesn't want to think about that family. The family that threw me away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

JPOV

I was stunned, she told me to go away. I can feel her pain, it's almost unbearable. I don't know if I can handle working with her. She's my family and I don't know if I can control myself enough to deal with her. I need to speak with Carlisle, I need to speak with Alice. I need to catch up with the Son of Bitch and see if he knows what happened to her. I've had three years of guilt. Guilt that sat over me. Three fuckin years of it. I had no doubt in my mind that Edward had something to do with her state. I was a Major in the Army, I was Maria's right hand man - I knew Edward was 'off' slightly. I knew that his moping and dragging his ass around the house was not due to the fact that Bella had called it off. All the pieces had now fallen into place and the map was laid out before me. Now all I had to do was read it, and figure out how to fix Bella.

Standing up quickly I watched as Bella's eyes closed and the mediations that she was given earlier begun to do their work. I'll need to see what she's been taking, I need to get her to talk more. She's already spoken more to me tonight than she's done in awhile. I leaned over her again, and whispered, "Bella. I'm going to help you. You'll get better. I promise you." I needed to finish off some paper work at the hospital, and then I needed my family - but first I had to calm myself down. I didn't want to be projecting my feelings onto Bella. Not yet, there would be time for me to help her - but at this moment I needed to see how deep in, she was.

I walked out of Bella's room and made my way to the nurses' station. Nurse Louise was there to greet me. "Hello Dr. Hale, so you've met our Isabella. She can be very frustrating. Hope you can find something that will help that one" She seemed nice, actually. She was quite genuine. Most of the nurses I've met tend to try and hit on me. Perhaps it was the look on my face when I came out of Bella's room.

"Yes, I do seem to have my work cut out don't I? Dr. West has told me that you have keys, and I do need to fill out some paper work. Oh, and please call Isabella - Bella. That's the name that she like to use. " I ran my hands through my hair, since Bella had problems in the intuition in Phoenix, any persons going into her room had to fill out the necessary paper work.

I quickly grabbed the keys off the counter signed my name on the ledger, picked up all the files that Dr. West had left for me, and walked out as fast as possible without causing people to look at me. I needed air as well, the stench in the hospital was something I knew I would get accustomed to. It was just too much with all the additional stress that was upon my shoulders. As I walked to my car, I knew what I had to do. I was running all the scenarios in my head. I don't even remember driving through the city streets. I begun my drive down the long winding road.

I didn't put my car in the garage. I quickly made my way into the house. I slammed the door so hard it broke the frame and splinters of wood now lay at my feet. "Edward?" I yelled his name. for a split second I was thankful that Esma was in New York still closing our home there.

Carlisle and Alice came running around the corner. "Jasper?" Alice's voice cut through the air. "Jasper what's wrong?" She tired to hug me, but I just couldn't have anyone touching me now.

"Where is that son of a Bitch? I'm going to fuckn' rip his head off!" I yelled. "Edward, get your ass in here now!"

"What's going on?" Emmett and Rose came around the corner followed by Edward. I lunged at him so fast that I sent him through the wall, I seen black when I touched him. I grabbed his head in my hands, and I wanted to twist. I had no idea I had that much hatred and anger within me. Emmett grabbed my hands and pulled me off of Edward.

"Boys!" Carlisle's voice bellowed and I stopped trying to get away from Emmett. I looked and saw the beautiful face of my wife Alice.

"Jasper? It's ok, what's going on love?" Alice's voice was soft, she was calming me down. I didn't often let that part of my character show - and not in front of Alice. I knew that "part" of my life scared her. We didn't often talk about what my life was like before I met my mate.

"Do you know what' you've done you fuckin idiot? Can you stop thinking about your sorry arse self for two seconds and actually think of someone else? You fuckin idiot. I knew that something has been off - and you" I pointed my finger at Edward. His head was bowed "You-you - lied to us all. Tell us what happened with Bella! Tell us and don't lie, not one more lie Edward. You are going to tell us what happened the day you left Bella."

Edward lifted his eyes and met them to his father, then to Jasper. "Jasper, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you dare lie to me. You can lie to the others, but not to me. Empath remember." Jasper pointed to his head" "You all blamed me for her leaving. You son of Bitch! You lied to me. You lied to us all." Alice came and put her hand around my waist. The calm that she radiated finally begun to reach me. I could feel all her love.

"Jasper, please son - stop. Just tell me what's going on." Carlisle's voice was raised.

"I have a patient in the hospital by the name of Isabella Swan. Do you remember her Edward? Not sure if you can. But, she's been a patient in this hospital for the last two years- but the year before that she was a patient in a hospital in Phoenix." Jasper walked towards Edward, who had dropped to his knees. "Can you see her Edward in my mind? See what you did? Why?" Jasper pulled Edward up by his shirt. The Major was talking now. The Major was someone who didn't come out often, but when he did the family took notice.

"Seems this boy is as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs" Jasper released Edward. Edward just lay on the floor holding his head in his hands.

"Edward?" Carlisle looked at his 'oldest' son. 'Tell us what happened and Jasper, that's enough. Please remember we are civilized creatures here."

All eyes fell on Edward. "I'm sorry. I thought it would be for the best. I- I left her. I left her alone in the woods. I- I didn't want to leave her there, but she was just so stubborn, and I think she tried to follow me. Alice why didn't you see anything? " Edward's eyes met with Alice's. He had unshed tears in his eyes.

"You told me not to look for her Edward! Can you remember that conversation that we had when you came back from breaking her heart? You told me that we had to make a clean break." Alice's eyes shone with unshed tears for her friend. "I missed her - I missed her so much. She's my sister." Alice grabbed Jasper's arm.

"You think she tried to follow you? What do you mean you think?" Carlisle's voice was raised now.

"Jasper - please tell me that you can fix her." Edward's voice was low. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry that this has happened. I - just wanted her to have a better life. She didn't need to be around us. God, Jasper tell me that you can fix her. I love her so much. Please - Please tell me you can fix her." Edward grabbed his head in his hands and slowly stood up.

"Edward, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to fix her. Something has happened to Bella, and I don't know. She's going to need a lot of love and support. She's going to need a lot care. I have my work cut out for me. I think we all have our work cut out first I have to get her talking. Once I have her talking than it's going to be easier for me to get into her head."

"Jasper, we'll give her all the love and support that she can handle." Carlisle's voice was smooth

"I want to see her. I need her to see me. I need to help her Jasper. Take me to her." Edwards voice was quiet and somewhat unsure of himself. Jasper was slightly taken aback. Edward was always so full of himself, the family rarely got to see this side of him.

"No, not yet. Give me some time with her. I've got to leave for a few hours. The stress of my first day along with seeing Bella has all become too much for me. "Alice please come with me."

'Son, we have a lot to discuss when you and Alice get back. I want to see Bella's files as well. We'll come up with some strategies. I'll be in my office." Carlisle's voice was firm. "Edward, please follow me. We have a few things I need to discuss with you as well. In private."

Edward could feel Rose and Emmett's eyes on him. He looked at his family.

"That's cold man" Emmett's voice was the first to cut the silence. "Real cold"

"I told you, I told you that something like this was going to happen. Why didn't you listen to me when I first told you about having a relationship with a human. You knew that it would end badly."

"Rose just shut up. It's me that was no good for her, she was - she is just too good for me. I'll get her back. So just shut up." Edward ran up to Carlisle's office.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

EPOV

The images of Bella that came from Jasper made me sick. My beautiful Bella, she looked so dead, so heartrending lost, alone. I squeezed my eyes shut - hoping that it would erase the visions that filled my head. What had I done to her? What happened to her? I needed to see her - touch her -love her. God what an idiot. I found the love of my sorry ass life and I left her.

Carlisle's' office wasn't fully unpacked yet. I waited until Carlisle ushered me in. I could have walked in without asking he did tell me to meet him - Carlisle's office was his private area and one that we didn't often come into without his permission.

"Talk to me son." Carlisle's voice was soft.

I didn't want to tell him what had happened between Bella and I. We tired to keep our relationship somewhat private. I always felt myself a bit superior than my siblings. I had the luxury of knowing what went on in their minds; all the while I could safely hide in mine. However, this was neither the time nor the place. I had to help Bella. I needed her back now. I didn't care that I had promised her that I would never see her again. I didn't' care that I vowed to the heavens above that I would never hurt her again. I needed her like a fish needs water, like a child needs their parents love. I needed Bella's love.

"I-I left her. She didn't want me to go. She was going to give up everything to come with me - to come with us. I had too. I didn't want her to follow me. I wanted her to have a good life with kids and a husband who loves her." Edward dropped his head again.

"Son, why did you think that you could have made that decision for Bella? Did you talk with her? Did you ask her - her opinion? " Carlisle sat down beside Edward and put his arm around Edward.

"No"

Carlisle sighed. "I know that I should have had this conversation with you before all of this- this happened." Carlisle got up and walked towards the window. Turning to face Edward "What did you want to happen with your relationship with Bella?"

"What do you mean?"

"What did you see the outcome of it all Edward? Were you going to change Bella? "

"No - No I never wanted Bella changed. I wanted her heart to beat. I wanted her to stay warm, and I wanted her to have a better life than what I could give her."

"Edward, she is your mate- did you think that you could have just walked away from her? Did you stop for one minute and think about what this would have done to Bella? What did you think was going to happen to you when she died of old age?" Carlisle rested against the edge of the window

"Simple. I would have gone to the Volturi. I would have ended it all." Edward's head sank into his hands.

"What do you think was going to happen to this family when that happened? Do you not think of me? Esme? The other's. Edward, you are an important and loved member of this family. I will not have you cast your life away."

"I'll not steal her soul Carlisle! You know this - why do we always have to fight about this!"

"Edward, stop it. Most of the people who walk the earth have no souls. Just read the news, watch TV. Good God Edward you can read minds. Can't you see the evil that lays in men's minds? What you and Bella had was pure, it was love. And a love like what you had was magic. It just doesn't happen to all of us. She was the one who made you made your dead heart sing." Carlisle turned and faced the window, looking at the yard he began again. "You have been alone for so long Edward, why did you do this to yourself?"

Carlisle lifted his hand to stop Edward from speaking. He walked over the couch where Edward sat and moved beside him. "I believe very strongly that She's your la tua cantante I would need to confirm a lot of facts with Jasper on this, but I think that this is part of the problem."

Edward pulled his head away from his hands and looked at his father. "What?"

"Your "la tua cantante - we use the term singer which means that the blood of those appeals to us. Hence it sings to us. However, la tua cantante is something much more powerful - it's a spiritual calling - it's a spiritual connection. The blood of Bella appeals to you so much that you should have lost control with her the moment you met her. However, you didn't - you struggled with it, and you won."

Carlisle sighed pausing for a moment he hesitated briefly before carrying on. "While spending time in Volturi, Aro had me study many old myths and legends. One of them was called "La tua cantante" With the little that I've heard from Jasper - her - Bella's condition and well - first hand how you've been managing. I believe strongly that this is what is affecting the both of you."

Sighing again, Carlisle stood and began to walk towards the window. "Edward, I'll not lie to you. I -" Edward looked up at his father. He had never seen Carlisle at a loss for words before. Edward could see that Carlisle was blocking his thoughts.

"Carlisle - tell me" Edward's voice was urgent.

"Edward- I struggle to tell you this because I can't be certain that this is actually what has happened to Bella. I do need to confirm with Jasper and look at Bella myself before I say that yes, this is la tua cantante." Carlisle turned and looked out the window again. He spoke softly.

"Edward it does not end well for the humans. It didn't happen often - in It only happened few times. However, in the few humans that had been affected by this - they didn't last more than a few months after the separation - Before we started the research on this myth we thought that this syndrome only affected Vampires. However, after a few years of study we found that it affected humans, which had relationships with vampires. Aro only allowed the humans to live as he was more interested in the science behind it all. We did make a few discoveries; one was it the human broke the bond both mates seemed to survive - at least the vampire survived. The human didn't make it out of Volturi alive. Our laws are very strict, as you know, about human/vampire relationships. However, Aro like the idea of making the humans go crazy. They would go crazy within months of losing their mates. Edward, it wasn't a study in which I had no pleasure doing. However, I was still a relatively new vampire myself. And - and I was still making my way in this new life- I only served with the Volturi as I thought that their way was right way. . As you know, I don't like to talk about my time with the Volturi. "

"I - I'm stunned. Why are you telling me this? I mean you're saying that the humans' only survived a few months. Bella's been like this for almost three years? I mean- if this were the case. How can you explain it?" Edward's voice broke.

"Edward, I don't know - it was a study that we did a long time ago. Jasper may be able to shed some light on it for me, you, us. As I said, the human's were not studied after the break up. We found that the reason that vampires could handle the break more than humans is the make up of our brains. We process information, and we are stimulated in a very different way. Our Vampire minds are amazing we have a way of distracting ourselves from the moment of our birth, we hear the sounds of butterfly wings or a leaf falling to the ground. Yet we can talk in a room full of people and see - a spider building its web in a dark corner - along with hearing the web being spun. It's those things that make our minds busy, and we can be diverted. You are stronger mentally than Bella - I should have seen this coming. I should have guided you and her through this. I just didn't' want to over step my position. I'm just as much at fault here as you are. I knew this- I should have seen this coming. I just thought that when you said the two of you broke up that it was her decision - that would have changed this course - she would have broken the bond. "

"I- I didn't know. I just wanted her to be normal. I just didn't want to be selfish and have her stuck with me for eternity. "

"Edward, there is much work that needs to be done. Once Jasper comes back to the house we will have to discuss the situation like adults and with no secrets."

"No secrets Carlisle"

JPOV

I ran. I ran until I felt the anger - the sadness, the utter hopelessness left me. I could hear Alice running beside me. She knew to leave the questions behind. She knew enough to wait for me to speak. After the violent episode in the house with Edward she knew that I needed this. It didn't happen often that the Major came out, and when he did he needed to be exercised.

I stopped dead in my stride, and held my arms out. Alice ran into them. "Shhh" I whispered quietly I knew from the moment I told them about my first day of work that her heart was broken. Alice and I shared a stronger bond emotional than the others. I could feel her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces as I told them about what I encounter. I could feel her fear in me when I lost control. I could feel the love - the devotion that she had in me. It made me weak. "I'm sorry you had to witness my outburst with Edward"

Alice cried, her tearless eyes met mine. "Can you fix Bella? Jasper, I want my sister back. I didn't know. I didn't see her" Alice wrapped her tiny arms around me and held me tighter.

"I don't know - Alice. I really don't. I'm going to try my best, with everything that I am, with everything that I have I will try."

"I'm scared Jasper. I don't see her - there is nothing. I'm not sure if it's because I've not been looking for her for so long, or if it's because I just can't see her."

"I can't be sure. The only emotion that I felt was despair, a blackness filled her soul." I shuddered. It was an image that I would be doing my best to make disappear - and soon." I released my wife. "We'll fix her - we'll try and fix her. Let's get back to the house I have to meet with Carlisle and seek his advise"


End file.
